photo 7b0344bc-1afc-4895-9667-1cb46c087c17_zps9b2acf3a.jpg Kellyann May Navarre. I got my URL from the meaning of my first name. I'm 17. Detroit Michigan area. Currently in college for a psychology/mental health major after graduating high school two years early.

I'm a taekwondo instructor under my master that certified me. I strive to help others as much as I can. Currently 1st dan black belt... Though I should be 2nd as of March 20th 2014... but my master passed... I went through a lot in my journey to reach my black belt and am still struggling in this journey. It's my life.

I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder. (emotional regulation disorder) A chronic mental disorder where emotional reactions in the brain are hypersensitive and do not regulate or process well. It leads to a lot of difficulties in my life, but it has made me stronger and understanding. I battle daily.

I am a Christian. I'm not homophobic and I don't care what your beliefs are. I also play guitar in a band.

I find it hard to bear with some of the ignorance on this site... On my blog, I post a lot of things related to psychology/mental health, sports/martial arts/fitness, and other things (music, animals, etc) Feel free to ask me any questions regarding these topics, or for any support/help regarding any of these things. I care for each and every one of my followers. Note it may take me a little to reply.

TRIGGER WARNING: (I try to keep at minimum) SOME THINGS I POST MIGHT TRIGGER PEOPLE. I ALWAYS ADD TRIGGER WARNINGS.

kellyann-graceful-warrior:

I recently got asked in anon what the traits/characteristics are in BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder/Emotional Regulation Disorder)
So I decided to make a post instead. I think will be good awareness. Here are the 9 main symptoms:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid, extreme fears, or certain…

I am not anti OR pro self diagnosis because it is ignorant and biased to be on either side, but I really did not make this post for lots of people to message me or reblog it or something asking me if I think they have it or just stating they do because they can relate to it.
It’s really frustrating to see a bunch of people relate to something and then think they have a disorder while they don’t know of much of it besides reading this and some symptoms and traits. Did me saying relating to it at times does not mean you have a disorder not make sense or something? Some seem quite genuine and concerned, so if you’re one of these people please don’t assume anything. I did this because lots do not know what the disorder actually is, and to help raise awareness .. not so lots suddenly think they have it.

zombieluck:

iwantyoualive:

Since people now seem to think every NFL player is a piece of shit thanks to Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, I think it’s a good time to say this: Brandon Marshall is my hero. Honestly. Like he changed my life so much and doesn’t even know it.
About three years ago he called a press conference and announced that he has borderline personality disorder. At the time, I had no idea what that was, but he mentioned that he started his own foundation dedicated to its awareness. I went to the website to see what it was all about, and as I read through the symptoms, I realized that many of them have been prevalent throughout my entire life. So many things about me suddenly started to make sense, so I decided I’d talk to a doctor about it and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder not too long after (you should look it up if you’re not familiar with it).
I’ve thought about writing him a letter to let him know just how much his Project Borderline foundation (and my subsequent diagnosis) has affected my life, but idk I feel like it would just be a waste of time since he’s an NFL superstar and stuff. Probably wouldn’t even read it. Oh well.
I love this dude so much like last October he wore neon-green shoes during a game for Mental Health Awareness Week even though he knew he’d be fined $10,000 by the NFL for the uniform violation. He not only paid that fine but also matched it and donated it to his foundation. It’s just cool to see people use their fame to raise awareness on issues that are important to them.
I guess my point is, if it wasn’t for Brandon Marshall, my borderline personality disorder would’ve probably gone undiagnosed for my entire life and I wouldn’t be getting the help that I’m currently getting. I don’t even want to think about what my life would be like had this not happened.

BMarsh is the man!

zombieluck:

iwantyoualive:

Since people now seem to think every NFL player is a piece of shit thanks to Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, I think it’s a good time to say this: Brandon Marshall is my hero. Honestly. Like he changed my life so much and doesn’t even know it.

About three years ago he called a press conference and announced that he has borderline personality disorder. At the time, I had no idea what that was, but he mentioned that he started his own foundation dedicated to its awareness. I went to the website to see what it was all about, and as I read through the symptoms, I realized that many of them have been prevalent throughout my entire life. So many things about me suddenly started to make sense, so I decided I’d talk to a doctor about it and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder not too long after (you should look it up if you’re not familiar with it).

I’ve thought about writing him a letter to let him know just how much his Project Borderline foundation (and my subsequent diagnosis) has affected my life, but idk I feel like it would just be a waste of time since he’s an NFL superstar and stuff. Probably wouldn’t even read it. Oh well.

I love this dude so much like last October he wore neon-green shoes during a game for Mental Health Awareness Week even though he knew he’d be fined $10,000 by the NFL for the uniform violation. He not only paid that fine but also matched it and donated it to his foundation. It’s just cool to see people use their fame to raise awareness on issues that are important to them.

I guess my point is, if it wasn’t for Brandon Marshall, my borderline personality disorder would’ve probably gone undiagnosed for my entire life and I wouldn’t be getting the help that I’m currently getting. I don’t even want to think about what my life would be like had this not happened.

BMarsh is the man!

"So what happen? Sorry"

— Asked by Anonymous

http://kellyann-graceful-warrior.tumblr.com/post/97458883697/for-those-of-you-wondering-what-has-been-going-on

That
Im doing better now that my mom admitted to being completely wrong about it and apologized. I’m really frustrated by lots and idk how therapy is gonna go, but it’ll be ok. For now I am feeling alright. Im not ok.. but im feeling alright… really frustrated by lots of things. Really.. but idk.

kellyann-graceful-warrior:

Not one to post many pics of myself on here, this from the other day

kellyann-graceful-warrior:

Not one to post many pics of myself on here, this from the other day

(via kellyann-graceful-warrior)

"I'm sorry:( I know it doesn't mean much, but this anon likes you. You seem like a really cool, strong, kind person. I honestly look up to you, and I really hope things get better for you soon. I know college is tough, and going into it as young as you are, especially with your disorder, can't help much. But I know for sure, if it's you, you'll get through it. And with new friends, too, I'm sure if you got to know people they'd like you a lot:)"

— Asked by Anonymous

Thank you- I’ll remember this. Gotta keep telling myself this. I just feel alone with my mom being this way. I’ll be ok. It’s not that college is hard, it just is another thing you know? Idk, this means a lot dont worry =)

I can’t do this =’( can’t anyone just like me.. Anyone? I just can’t stop.. I want to drop out of college. I want to leave.
I want to do anything to stop

I really really want to die. Before whoever the fuck called the cops calls the cops again fuck off cause that won’t do shit they can’t legally take me and I’m not gonna do anything.
I just want this to stop. I can’t do this.

I talked to my mom and I’m crying again. I’m not sure if I feel worse or better. I told her basically it really hurt me what she said yesterday. She admitted to blowing up on me and shouldn’t have called me some things but she also tried to turn it around again. She said well I responded this way because you this and you that.. And then kept saying well I only said this because that and idk. It made me cry and I just had to keep repeating myself saying okay well I only come up here to say this and then she has adding on more and more and blaming and turn it into the circular argument. Finally I just left after 10 mins.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, and you probably shouldn't if it's painful to think about. I'm just curious."

— Asked by Anonymous

Check back at this message maybe sometime tomorrow and I’ll write and explain a little bit of it? Right now I’m trying to calm down. I just talked to her and it was ok but she idk. I’ll edit this tomorrow.

"Has your mother done anything hurtful to you before this incident?"

— Asked by Anonymous

Emotionally yes. Idk if you want me to say anything specific but she’s been cruel A LOT. Like almost all the time.

I am serious, how do I get away from my abusive mother? Do I have to tell the therapist anything? I’m going soon

No ones left for me except tainteddreamer89 I can’t do this how am I supposed tovononthen difference

I can not BELIEVE someone called the fucking cops to my house over that stupid shit. You literally ruined me even more. I had nothing left well I got lower

Every part of me is burning. Congrats, you broke what was left of me 😞

kellyann-graceful-warrior:

For those of you wondering what has been going on rather than replying to each individual message!

Someone made a report to the police concerned about me and my suicidal ideations. They arrived at my house yesterday, and basically had to talk to me and my mom. The first thing they asked is what…

I can’t get it out of my head! I was nothing but consistently condemned. I can’t stop shaking.
FYI- that wasn’t a fucking cry for help! IM NOT THAT STUPID TO ASK FOR THIS.
Something like this. Why would I fucking want this. I kno what would happen. My moms convinced it was a cry for help. Hahahahah yeah cause I posted that entirely thinking “omg I wonder if anyone is gona say anything”
What the fuck do people think I think of?
And hell- I obviously know anyone can a see it. Not like I have a private blog for fucks sake. You think I posted it all like “no ones gona see it I’m niave!”
And to whoever called I appreciate the gesture if it was good intentions. I understand. I understand even more cause of past experiences with my master.
But really I am not happy about it. I can’t take it. I can not. It’s taking a lot not to hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!

RIP Master, Best Friend, Hero, Father Figure. I love you

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Wonder what's gonna happen in my martial arts journey from here...